30 Day Shred -- Day 13

Have any of you tried this before? Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred workout video?

Devil in a red sports bra. 

It goes something like this:

20-minute workout, broken down into a warm-up, cool-down, and about a thousand unbearable minutes of thigh-quivering hell sandwiched in between. 

Okay, so the math doesn't quite work out. But that's exactly what it feels like. My poor muscles are still recovering from the last time I completed a full 30 Day Shred. Last March. 

That time around, I really felt like I was accomplishing something, you know? I had just started trying to eat really healthy -- and organic, local, humane, etc. Plus, I cut out wine, my very favorite vice, to see if that would help speed up the process of my belly looking like something other than a lump of uncooked pizza dough. 

Ha ha. That did not happen. I'm not even sure if I lost any weight, because I didn't have a scale at the time. And I was way too lazy to measure my jiggly bits before I started, so I have no idea if my arms or waist or thighs shrunk. But I definitely felt tighter and fitter, and better about myself overall, once I was finished. I guess that's what counts, right?

But that time, I started out a lot slimmer than I was when I started out this time around. I have gained a good ten pounds in the past several months, and like I've mentioned before on this blog, I'm not quite sure why. I haven't started eating or drinking a whole lot more, in fact, I cut out meat, so I imagined I was taking in fewer calories overall. I didn't have a baby (that I know of), and I haven't been sitting around on the couch any more than I ever did before. I don't think. 

I suspect the meat thing was actually counterproductive for me. I just signed up for this diet plan, Beyond Diet, and they made me take a metabolism test at the get-go. It said I have a protein-type metabolism, which means I need to eat a whole crapload of protein throughout the day to keep my engine burning off fat, at least a little bit at every meal. This is about the only useful piece of information I got from the diet plan, which despite its claims to the contrary, basically goes all Nazi on your eating regimen and tells you exactly when and what to eat. the kicker is they wanted to limit the allowable fruits in my diet. So my personal menu allowed for as many apples and pears as I like, with a half a banana here and there, and everything else I'm meant to stay away from. Um, I think not. I don't care how fat I get, I refuse to stick to a diet that won't let me eat whatever fruits and veggies I want. I just don't have any faith that it's truly as healthy and balanced as it claims to be. How many diet gurus out there peddling their breakthrough plan do you think give a shit if we end up with heart disease in 30 years. Yeah. None. I mean, remember when Atkins was all the rage? Eat as many ribeye steaks as you want, cooked in straight-up animal fat, but stay away from those oranges, green beans and sweet potatoes? Yeah, that's good for you.

Thank goodness for that 60-day money back guarantee. Non-restrictive my ass. 

So I'm back to trying to eat as healthy as I can, without cutting myself down to a supermodel's calorie count (or: 150 calories per day). I just finished day 13 of Jillian, so I'm three days into Level 2. I've been taking Sundays off, which I didn't do last time, but I think is actually better for me. My muscles had just been so sore in the days leading up to both Sundays that I felt like it was hurting my workout. But today, after a day off, I felt totally kick-ass, and much stronger than before. So I'm sticking to no workout Sundays. 

As for pounds and/or inches? I'm not sure. I weighed 145 to start, and when I weighed myself last week, I had dropped maybe a pound, if anything (I don't really trust one-or two-pound fluctuations in our scale too much -- it's a cheapo). Also, my pants, all of which have become waaaay too tight on me in the past few months, are not even a little bit looser at all. I guess it's a bummer, but I'm not giving up yet. After all, 13 days isn't much. I feel like patience will be really good for me here. I'm one of those people that gets all frustrated and quits if I don't see immediate results. I need instant gratification. And that's what's gotten me to a place where I am struggling to button my jeans. I tend to imagine that if I ignore it, rather than work on it, it will just disappear. But no more. I'm sticking with this, for 30 days and beyond. 

But I'm having wine this weekend, dammit. My aunties, cousins and I are congregating at my grandmother's to celebrate her 85th birthday, and where there are Dooley girls, there will definitely be wine. 

Come on, Jillian. Try and stop me. 

Yep. I imagine I'll be doing this in no time.